A Curious Girl

The musings of a girl who is curious in both senses of the word. Life, God, and York. Oh, did I say York? I meant Bradford!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Incomplete update

I have at least three half-finished posts lurking for this blog. Sigh. I guess part of the trouble is I started wondering how I could make the blog interesting, and goodness me, I can't think of how I could possibly make angst interesting. So I'll talk to Mum about it, and God too, occasionally, but there's been less of the lovely long posts here. Sorry 'bout that. Although it's debateable as to whether long posts are actually lovely ;)

I bought a copy of An Alien At St. Wilfred's by Adrian Plass on Amazon. I adore that book, and I got some of the jokes I didn't get when I read it as a tender young Christian of 12. I've still no clue who "Graham Gooch" is but I do like "This is how the world ends - not with a bang, but a Whimber." Also in a strange way I identified with parts that I hadn't identified with as a tender young Christian of 12. Funny really.

Finals are nearly over. They've been mostly awful - this afternoon's wasn't so bad, it was "Paper criticism" which is really just an advanced form of comprehension exercise. I'm vaguely proud that I requested extra paper, although this was chiefly because I'd written so many notes in my booklet that I'd run out of room. I've got a calculations paper tomorrow, which I'm almost looking forward to (calculations being the only thing I can actually do...) and possibly a project oral exam next week, which I'm praying will be cancelled (the lecturers are striking). I hate oral examinations.

In a bit of a what-to-do-with-my-life quandary as usual. The trouble is, even if I do brilliantly on my degree (which is not going to happen now, sadly) I'd pretty much decided that I don't want to work in science for the rest of my life. I like reading New Scientist, which might have been a good sign when I was 18 but at 22 I feel I've adequately demonstrated to myself that I really want to do something else! The annoying thing is, it would at least be helpful to have a good degree. I wish I'd worked harder, and that I wasn't such an angsty mess :( Mum suggested trying VSO (voluntary services overseas), which would be awesome, only I'm feeling a bit discouraged and wondering if anyone would accept me. It reminds me a little of something a friend said about a guy in the Gilbert and Sullivan society - "He lacks confidence because he can't get a principal part, but he can't get a principal part because he lacks confidence!"

Well, I'm going to post this because I can't be bothered to save it as a draft - thanks for your comments lately, folks. I want to do a post on some of the great blogs I've found, but now I'm going to go get some dinner. Yum.

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6 Comments:

  • At 10:29 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I had exactly the same experience with alien at St wilfreds about a month ago-spooky, although instead of 12 I was 18 or something. Didn't get the Archbishop reference even when I read it the second time! I just don't aim high enough obviously.

    Tiffer

    Gooch was a cricketer I think.

     
  • At 10:10 pm , Blogger BruceD said...

    It's a busy time in your life. But don't worry, it will only get worse! hehehe

     
  • At 8:13 pm , Blogger Rob said...

    Helen

    Your future ... live your dream.

    What is that dream of yours?

     
  • At 2:41 pm , Anonymous Joe Bellacero said...

    Hi Helen,

    Just happened upon this and wished I had seen it earlier. During the summers I work at a children's camp in New Jersey in the U.S. The camp has a clientel of physically challenged children and adults. The people who choose to work at such a camp tend to be the nicest people in the world, and we do hire people from around the globe. The place is Camp Oakhurst (google it to get more information). I believe we have hired all of the female staff we need at this point but the season has not started yet and there are always last minute cancellations, so maybe... Anyway, as to what you might do with your life, I've spent my life as a teacher and as an employee of the camp, a life of doing for others, and it has been great. You can't get so trapped in thinking about yourself when you're helping someone else, and that makes life easier.

    Joe

     
  • At 5:05 pm , Blogger Helen Louise said...

    Thanks guys :)

    Hey Joe, thanks a lot for getting in touch and I think you're right about how helping others makes you think about yourself less, so thanks for the reminder :) Will certainly google the camp you mentioned.

     
  • At 4:25 am , Anonymous Joe Bellacero said...

    Great, Helen, maybe some day we'll meet at camp.

    Joe

     

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