A Curious Girl

The musings of a girl who is curious in both senses of the word. Life, God, and York. Oh, did I say York? I meant Bradford!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Aiming Higher

I like my job.

I suspect that is because I have been in it for just over a week. Yesterday I worked until nine, which meant I missed St. Weirdo's, but I got home in time for the latter half of Jane Eyre. Life is good. I love Jane Eyre, and the TV version - what I've seen of it, at least - is fairly faithful to the book. I really like Ruth Wilson as Jane. I also really like Toby Stevens even though he's far too good looking to be Mr. Rochester. I love the valiant attempt they've made to make the viewers believe that he is ugly.

But still. My job. I like it a lot. I do hate the early mornings - if I'd rather sleep in until 10, why do old ladies get up at 8.30? My project supervisor once told me he thought that young people need more sleep and generally enjoy it more. Actually I don't enjoy sleep so much as lying in bed and vaguely thinking about getting up. This morning, having a day off, I sat in bed with my laptop. But generally after struggling out of bed and thinking of new and exciting ways of eating porridge (a spoonful of Nutella, some walnuts and some almonds was my latest - Yum!), and even more so after getting my first call done with, I can generally relax and enjoy the day.

It's such a relief to be doing something that matters. During my Year in Industry I got the idea I was being humoured, or that if they did need the job done, they could quite happily use a trained monkey, except that trained monkeys are more expensive than placement students, and probably more easily bored. I liked my job on a deli but felt 2/3 of the managers didn't think much of me and I got very bored listening to how jolly expensive everything was.

So it's nice to feel both appreciated and that I'm doing something worthwhile for others. It's also nice to be trusted to take responsibility. Makes me feel like a proper grown-up :)

I still don't have any idea what I'll do eventually. People have been asking me a lot lately if I'm a student (do they ask everyone this or do I have a studenty aura?) and why I took the job. One lady, on hearing of my Biochemistry degree, said, "Oh, so you'll be aiming higher, then."

This suggestion sort of irritates me because there seems to be an idea that care is for people who can't do "better". I often get the feeling that we view important work as far too menial to be worth being paid well. Recently I did a little work for a market research agency and was paid more per hour than I'll probably ever be paid for this work. This difficult and important job involved counting pedestrians as they walked across the road. The trouble is that market forces are amoral. Care has to be cheap because many of the customers who really need it can't afford to pay a great deal. But market research, even the type any fool could do, can be expensive because their clients tend to have a lot of money.

That said, I do feel I have more to offer and once I have mastered my slight squeamishness over incontinence and got my head around all the various procedures I feel I'll be wondering what more I can do. I don't identify with the idea that success is all about making lots of money and having all the material possessions my heart desires. Admittedly, there are a few things I'd like to have, and would probably buy if I wasn't still recovering from being a student/unemployed. I'd also like enough money to actually visit people I haven't seen in ages.

But really what I want is to be able to contribute all my abilities to something. I guess partly this is just because I want to be appreciated, but also because I feel I can do more, I have talent and I ought to do something with it!

But that said, I'm not rushing. I don't want to do something I feel half-hearted about (like a Biochemistry degree :) ) just because I feel obliged to due to my academic ability. I want to take some time out and find out what I really care about, and what I can really do. Then, perhaps, I will "aim higher".



  • At 12:30 pm , Blogger Julie said...

    Hi Helen, glad you like your job, not many of us have that privilage and it's a real blessing. Thanks for your encouraging comment on my blog.

    Love Julie x

  • At 11:11 pm , Blogger Helen Louise said...

    When I told my grandma about my carejob, she said, "You don't need a Biochemistry degree to help people."

    Meaning that, with a Biochemistry degree, I shouldn't just be helping people.



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