A Curious Girl

The musings of a girl who is curious in both senses of the word. Life, God, and York. Oh, did I say York? I meant Bradford!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Pressing concerns

My show is over. Meep. It was wonderful. And I lasted the entirety of the post-show party. Really great bacon sandwiches too. Actually I did arrive a bit late to the party thanks to to heading with my friend Bunny to see Doctor Who beforehand. Then yesterday I was very cultured and went to see the Tempest. It was very good. Probably not my favourite Shakespeare play ever, but Prospero (who also played the Sergeant in Pirates of Penzance but a few months since) was sooo good, and I also thought Caliban, Sebastian and Antonio were particularly good.

I have been off work for so long that I now want to go back. This is good. This is why I continue to be in favour of six week summer holidays for schoolchildren. At the end of it, even the teachers will be glad to return.

Oh, sigh. My main aim this morning was to head into town to buy a cheap digital decoder for my television, mainly so that I can watch previous episodes of Doctor Who without getting a DVD recorder.
And then I thought, I lead a sad, sad life which can be enriched by watching previous episodes of Doctor Who.

I would quite like to go have a talk with the Methodist Chaplain despite being neither Methodist nor a student. As my friend James put it, "Rory can't be a Chaplain, he actually talks to me." (not sure whether to put a smiley or a frowny). My housemate has started trying to claim me for a Quaker. She may have a point. I joked about burning the copies of Songs of Fellowship which mysteriously turned up in our house and when the other housemate told me that was a bit fanatical, my response was, "Well, I'm a Liberal Christian Agnostic Universalist... I have to be fanatical about something." She said, "Oh, become a Quaker!"

I have a joke that my other religion is Gilbert and Sullivan. At least I hope it's a joke; an obsession with 19th century operettas might be even sadder than my obsession with Babylon 5 was. G&S is so much simpler than Christianity, though. I don't feel that my excessively quoting HMS Pinafore is anything other than geeky amusement and perhaps some sort of group bonding behaviour ("I never..." "What never?" "No, never!" "What never?" "Well, hardly ever!"), it is not designed to make me look spiritual, it is merely me having a good memory for quotes. If I am not in the mood to sing "Climbing over Rocky Mountain", I don't feel that I am being insufficiently joyful or unfaithful to the memories of W.S. Gilbert and Sir Arthur Sullivan, I can just sing "Dance a Cachuca" or The Nightmare Song or something. If I want to reject G&S canon, eg. the Grand Duke which is notoriously bizarre, I can do so without fear of retribution. If my friends reject the good news of The Pirates of Penzance, then they could always give Iolanthe a try or perhaps come and see the summer show which features musicals by other composers. They are never (what, never?) in danger of eternal flame for their inability to believe that the Lord Chancellor can't recognise his own wife or that Bunthorne really has that much charisma.

It's funny, I was trying to explain Greenbelt to someone yesterday... I always find it interesting how people react to Christianity... and I explained that it was generally more liberal than, say, the Christian Union. "Liberalism" is a funny thing. Actually like most "nice" things it is associated with weakness - a sort of laissez-faire, we just can't be bothered forming an opinion... But I don't think it has to be, and really, Greenbelt is a prime example. I feel it really does challenge people to engage with their faith while forcing nothing. I feel I should question all that I believe, at least about the important stuff. I mean, I believe that the Co-op's reduced fat mature cheese is rubbish enough to call up and complain (they sent me vouchers! I used them to buy good cheese!) but if someone else loves it I still don't feel the need to call into question my own beliefs because cheddar will still do on most occasions.

I want to believe in God and Jesus, but I'm not sure I do... In James it says,
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

But how is one supposed to believe without evidence? I heard it suggested that the failed Tube bombing on July 21st 2005 was due to all the prayers for London after the successful boming on July 7th 2005, which is a nice theory, but by the same theory, Madeleine McCann should have been found by now. Little Madeleine really bothers me actually. Jesus loves little children, doesn't he? It is one thing for adults to suffer - we do at least have some capability to fight back - but letting wicked things happen to children really goes beyond the pale for what I'd hope a respectable (let alone worshipable) Deity would allow. Cue chorus of White Ribbon Day.

I even get the impression that Victor Hugo's uber-compassionate Bishop of Digne sometimes got impatient with God for the plight of the poor.

I don't make a good atheist. I don't want to be an atheist. I want to believe there is purpose, good will triumph against evil etc., but I'm not sure I have any reason to believe that...



  • At 4:06 pm , Blogger Dr Moose said...

    "I don't make a good atheist. I don't want to be an atheist."

    In which case you aren't an atheist! See, that was easy.

    "I want to believe there is purpose, good will triumph against evil etc., but I'm not sure I have any reason to believe that..."

    I'm sure that in reality, even simply by reading your past entires here, you do have plenty of reasons. Sometimes faith is like a tree. You may take an axe to the trunk and chop it down, but you can't take away the roots. God's got you, even if there are times when you really wish he hadn't and want to walk away.

    And as for questions... well I'll just quote Martyn "Maybe to never stop asking is part of the plan?"

    See you at Greenbelt this year? I'll be hanging out with the Franciscans. Come and find me and the rest of the Mooses.

    (And have you got yourself on Facebook yet? Or better still maybe, try www.faithspace.co.uk)


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